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watch live performance on youtube: https://youtu.be/hkCR-w3AYOE
GEORGE CARLIN
Modern Man
I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium. Digital and smoke free. A diversified multi-cultural, post-modern deconstructionist that is politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been up-linked and downloaded, I’ve been inputted and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
I’m new wave, but I’m old school and my inner child is outward bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat seeking, warm-hearted, cool customer, voice activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive.
Behind the eight ball, ahead of the curve, ridin the wave, dodgin the bullet and pushin the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I’ve got no need for coke and speed. I've got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top and under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart bomb. A top-gun bottom feeder. I wear power ties, I tell power lies, I take power naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally ongoing big-foot, slam-dunk, rainmaker with a pro-active outreach. A raging workaholic. A working rageaholic. Out of rehab and in denial!
I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up. You can’t dumb me down because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha male on beta-blockers.
I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last! I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head case pre-maturely post-traumatic and I’ve got a love-child that sends me hate mail.
But, I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing - a supportive, bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down, but my income is up. I took a short position on the long bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk mail, I eat junk food, I buy junk bonds and I watch trash sports! I’m gender specific, capital intensive, user-friendly and lactose intolerant. I like rough sex. I like tough love. I use the “F” word in my emails and the software on my hard-drive is hardcore--no soft porn.
I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van at a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical miracle. I’ve been pre-wash, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed, and.. I have an unlimited broadband capacity.
I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal. Lean and mean! Cocked, locked and ready-to-rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide. I’ve got glide in my stride. Drivin and movin, sailin and spinin, jiving and groovin, wailin and winnin. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose. I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hearty and lunch time is crunch time. I’m hangin in, there ain’t no doubt and I’m hangin tough, over and out!
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TPB's notes: George Carlin was an American stand up comedian.
WATCH: https://youtu.be/hkCR-w3AYOE
Transcript:
0:00 thank you I'm a modern man man
0:03 the Millennium digital and smoke free a diversified multicultural postmodern
0:08 deconstruction is politically anatomically an ecologically incorrect
0:12 I've been up lengthen downloaded of an input and an outsourced and all the
0:15 upside of downsizing another downside of upgrading my high-tech lowlife a
0:19 cutting-edge state-of-the-art bicoastal multi tasker and i can give you a
0:23 gigabyte in a nanosecond a new wave but I'm old school and my inner child is
0:29 outward bound on hotwire heat-seeking warm-hearted cool customer voice
0:33 activated and biodegradable
0:34 I interface from a database my databases in cyberspace
0:37 so I'm interactive and hyperactive and from time to time I'm radioactive
0:46 behind the eight ball ahead of the curve riding the wave dodging the bullet
0:49 pushing the envelope
0:50 come on . on task on message and off drugs I got no need for cokin speed got
0:55 no urge to binge and purge
0:57 I'm in the moment on the edge over the top of under the radar a high-concept
1:00 low profile medium-range ballistic missionary a streetwise smart bomb a Top
1:05 Gun bottom feeder
1:06 I went palletize until power lies to take power naps are run victory laps
1:10 I'm a totally ongoing Bigfoot slam dunk Rainmaker with a proactive outreach a
1:14 raging workaholic a working rageaholic out of rehab and in denial
1:26 I got a personal trainer personal shopper a personal assistant and the
1:30 personal agenda
1:32 you can't shut me up you can't dump me down cause I'm tireless and I'm wireless
1:36 I'm an alpha male on beta blockers
1:38 I'm a non believer in an overachiever laid back but fashion-forward upfront
1:44 down-home low-rent high maintenance
1:46 supersize long-lasting high-definition fast-acting oven ready and built to last
1:50 I'm a hands-on Footloose knee-jerk headcase prematurely post-traumatic and
1:54 have a love child who sends me hate mail
1:57 but I'm feeling I'm carrying I'm healing on sharing a supportive bonding
2:02 nurturing primary caregiver my output is down with my income is up
2:06 I take a short position on the long bond my revenue stream has its own cash flow
2:09 every junk mail junk food by junk bonds to watch trash ports
2:14 I'm gender-specific capital-intensive user-friendly and lactose intolerance
2:18 I like rough sex
2:22 I like rough sex I like tough love I use the f-word in my email of the software
2:26 on my hard drive is hardcore no soft born
2:29 I bought a microwave at a mini-mall about a minivan in the Megastore I eat
2:34 fast food in the slow lane
2:35 I'm tollfree bite-sized ready-to-wear and I come in all sizes a fully equipped
2:40 factory authorized hospital tested clinically proven scientifically
2:43 formulated medical miracle
2:45 I've been pre-washed precooked preheated pre-screen pre-approved prepackaged
2:48 post-dated freeze-dried double wrap back you back and i have an unlimited
2:52 broadband capacity
2:56 yeah
3:00 I'm a rude dude but I'm the real deal
3:04 lean and mean cocked locked and ready to rock
3:07 rough tough and hard to bluff and take it slow i go with the flow i ride with
3:10 the time to get flying in my stride driving and moving sale and spending
3:14 jiving and grooving wailing and women
3:16 I don't snooze so I don't lose keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the
3:20 road
3:20 party hardy and lunchtime is crunch time I'm hanging in there ain't no doubt and
3:25 I'm hanging tough
3:27 over and out
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